#2 It Feels Like Something Stuck Just Got Unstuck
I had the fortnightly conversation with EJ once more and this time, the topic at hand was really deep, although tonight, the conversation didn't just involve myself but a close friend of mine.
Two things I wanted out of tonight's session:
a. Process the confusion and underlying emotions
b. Establish boundaries for supporting the friend that is so dear to me
Some really sad news was shared with me and while I encouraged my friend and was there for him, deep inside a flurry of emotions stewed. I finally managed to unpack the confusion:
1. Anger
2. Sadness
3. Shock
4. Blame (hidden behind the shock)
Anger came as a result of the desire to protect my friend from the perpetrators.
Sadness came as a result of connecting with the pain that resulted from the horrific events, and my own powerlessness.
Shock came as a result of the sudden spurt of vulnerability that came out.
Blame came as a result of not having that "sixth sense", and that, "I should have known".
I spoke to Anger, telling it that there is no sense in acting on vengeance for it does not help the situation.
I spoke to Sadness, recognising that evil exists in the world and I cannot eliminate it.
I spoke to Shock, recognising it took so much out of someone to speak the words hidden in the deepest recesses of one's heart, and that a conversation is the start to restoration.
I spoke to Blame, recognising that I am not God; I cannot have known.
We explored Anger, and that the "solution" (for lack of a more suitable word) to it is Forgiveness.
We explored Sadness, and that the "solution" to it is Acceptance.
I recognised the boundaries that I need to put into place to protect myself even as I recognise my role to support my friend.
We spoke of the 4 primary emotions and what they relate to:
1. Joy relates to centredness. When we are centred, joy flows as a result of the alignment.
2. Sadness relates to the past, and is speaking to us to deal with unresolved matters.
3. Anger relates to the present, and what we are facing in the here and now.
4. Fear relates to the future, and that lack of security in what will happen tomorrow or thereafter.
I also recognised the impact of the emotions that I kept within me (resulting in a sense of confusion) and did not dare to process and the restoration that came as a result of doing so.
After tonight, there are some other topics in my life that have arisen that I would like to explore:
a. Heng Yu
b. My obsession with perfection and the resultant paralysis that arises when it is not met in my perspective.
Two things I wanted out of tonight's session:
a. Process the confusion and underlying emotions
b. Establish boundaries for supporting the friend that is so dear to me
Some really sad news was shared with me and while I encouraged my friend and was there for him, deep inside a flurry of emotions stewed. I finally managed to unpack the confusion:
1. Anger
2. Sadness
3. Shock
4. Blame (hidden behind the shock)
Anger came as a result of the desire to protect my friend from the perpetrators.
Sadness came as a result of connecting with the pain that resulted from the horrific events, and my own powerlessness.
Shock came as a result of the sudden spurt of vulnerability that came out.
Blame came as a result of not having that "sixth sense", and that, "I should have known".
I spoke to Anger, telling it that there is no sense in acting on vengeance for it does not help the situation.
I spoke to Sadness, recognising that evil exists in the world and I cannot eliminate it.
I spoke to Shock, recognising it took so much out of someone to speak the words hidden in the deepest recesses of one's heart, and that a conversation is the start to restoration.
I spoke to Blame, recognising that I am not God; I cannot have known.
We explored Anger, and that the "solution" (for lack of a more suitable word) to it is Forgiveness.
We explored Sadness, and that the "solution" to it is Acceptance.
I recognised the boundaries that I need to put into place to protect myself even as I recognise my role to support my friend.
We spoke of the 4 primary emotions and what they relate to:
1. Joy relates to centredness. When we are centred, joy flows as a result of the alignment.
2. Sadness relates to the past, and is speaking to us to deal with unresolved matters.
3. Anger relates to the present, and what we are facing in the here and now.
4. Fear relates to the future, and that lack of security in what will happen tomorrow or thereafter.
I also recognised the impact of the emotions that I kept within me (resulting in a sense of confusion) and did not dare to process and the restoration that came as a result of doing so.
After tonight, there are some other topics in my life that have arisen that I would like to explore:
a. Heng Yu
b. My obsession with perfection and the resultant paralysis that arises when it is not met in my perspective.
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